Archive | February, 2013

Katie Knows that the Grass Is Always Greener

27 Feb

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Katie understands the unique challenges of being a miniature horse  or pony.

Dear Katie, I am a 48 inch Shetland pony.  My owner keeps saying that the grass is not always greener.  Yet I see greener grass next door.  What does this mean? Signed, Not Color Blind

Dear Color, the grass is always greener next door, and it means you should escape your fence and go eat as much of it as possible. Then your owner will believe the grass is greener.  If you need help getting out of your fence, email me back.  Good luck! -Katie

Katie Believes That You Must Work Hard to Achieve Your Dreams

22 Feb

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Katie understands the unique challenges of being a (miniature) horse.

Dear Katie, I am 16 hand Thoroughbred horse. I live next to a miniature horse.  The miniature horse gets fed treats all day and just has to shake hands and bow.  I have to canter and jump.  This is not fair.  Signed, On The Wrong Side of the Fence

Dear Wrong, the miniature horse has worked hard to get where she is in life.  You, too, will need to do the same thing if you wish to stay in your paddock, do tricks and eat.  The miniature horse knocked over all her jumps and laid down flat in the center of the arena and refused to move.  You can do the same. -Katie

Katie Knows that Being on Camera isn’t All it’s Cracked up to Be

22 Feb

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Katie understands the unique challenges of being a miniature horse.

Dear Katie, I am 35 inch tall miniature horse.  My horse friend is going to have a foal and she has a special stall with a foaling camera.  I would like my own stall and camera, too.  What can I do?  Signed, Want to be on Camera

Dear Camera, see that pony stallion two doors down?  There’s your answer.   However, I do not recommend this.  Having had a foal, I know it is a big hassle and not worth the camera. – Katie

Katie Understands that Life is not a Race

19 Feb

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Katie understand the unique challenges of being a miniature horse or pony.

Dear Katie, I am 12 hand tall Shetland pony.  My rider has decided barrel racing is fun.  I do not like racing of any kind.  What can I do?  Signed, Slower than Molasses

Dear Molasses, you have the right idea.  Racing is work.  Your rider does not understand that ponies do not like to work.  It is hard to maintain  our extra weight when we work.  I would see how slow you can walk and not fall over.  Keep practicing until your owner retires you and gets a faster horse.- Katie

 

Katie Knows It’s Important To Chill Out

19 Feb

 

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Katie understands the unique challenges of being a miniature horse.

Dear Katie, I am a 35 inch tall miniature horse.  I am very worried about global warming.  What can I do?- Signed, Can’t Chill Out

Dear Chilly, Global warming is a good thing.  It is caused by cows.  Grass grows better when it is warmer.  Do not worry.- Katie

Note: the opinions expressed in this blog post are Katie’s and Katie’s alone.

Katie Knows that Bigger is not Always Better

18 Feb

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Katie understands the unique challenges of being a miniature horse.

Dear Katie.  I am a 29 inch miniature horse.  I notice you are giving advice to big horses.  I think you should not give them any ideas.  Soon they will think they should be in charge.  Signed, Napoleon

Dear Napoleon, a big horse will never be in charge of a miniature horse.  We are simply superior beings.  I am more worried about the ponies getting ideas.- Katie

Katie Knows That Wherever You Go, There You Are

16 Feb

 

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Katie understands the unique challenges of being a miniature horse or pony.

Dear Katie, I am a 44 inch Shetland pony.  I am afraid a meteorite will strike my barn.  What can I do?  Signed, Fireball

Dear Fireball, I see you are in Missouri.  I used to live there and didn’t see any meteorites.  Only Russia has a big problem with meteorites, so If you don’t move there, you’ll be OK. – Katie