The Fable of the Frozen Dog Poop

19 Dec

I am sorry I do not have a picture.   You will have to use your imagination.

As new parents, we were were walking in the park with my firstborn, a toddler of about 15 months.  She liked to pick up rocks and eat them.  On one crisp winter day I turned to see her raising something towards her her mouth.

It looked like a rock at first glance, but I registered some non-rocklike traits about it.  It was a little lumpy for a rock. Horror settled over me and and my breath stopped.

“That is not a rock!”  I screamed, and snatched it out of her hand and flung it.

I looked at the chunk of frozen dog poop she had found and we ran all the way back home and I scrubbed her tiny fingers.

If this had happened to my second child, I would have pulled the chunk out of his hands and wiped his hand off on the grass and kept walking.  Since I have no more than two children, I pondered what would have happened to the third, fourth and fifth children.

The third child picks up frozen chunk of dog poop.  I pull it out of their hand and keep walking.

The fourth child picks up dog poop and eats it.  I wipe off their mouth on their coat and keep walking.

Fifth child is back there eating dog poop somewhere.  I figure if it tastes bad enough, he will stop eating it.

Sixth child?  Sixth child is back there somewhere doing something.

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6 Responses to “The Fable of the Frozen Dog Poop”

  1. southfortyamanda December 19, 2013 at 1:41 pm #

    I’d be lucky if my second child didn’t hit another frozen (or thawed) dog poo when he collapsed into a fit on the ground after taking away the original dog poo. Then again…he’s technically closer to the floor already, so the hand wiping would be faster! Thanks for the giggle!

    • A New Path December 19, 2013 at 1:45 pm #

      LOL this is the part of parenting they never talked about in the books.

  2. Carol Weinstock December 20, 2013 at 9:08 am #

    hysterical…Monica you made my day.

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