Archive | April, 2020

Quarantine is The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

26 Apr

Happy Birthday, Katie! Apr 9 2013

 

Dear Katie, I am a 33 inch tall 400 lb miniature horse and share your birthday.  I got locked in a dirt paddock with no grass for my birthday, and they are just feeding me dry sticks of hay because they said my ideal weight is 210 lbs.  What is going on?  And how old are you now, Katie?  Signed, I hate Birthdays

Dear Birthdays, You are experiencing a coronavirus quarantine.  It’s something people and bats did to make our lives miserable. If you see any bats, be sure to chase them out of the barn.  In order to make your quarantine fun, just stop eating your hay.  After two days they will think you are sick and give you special treats to tempt you to eat.  Eat them all.  That’s what I did. and now quarantine is the best time of my life. And I am 26 years old now.  Happy Birthday!