I realize I have not posted any recipes. Since many of my friends are on the paleo diet, I decided to experiment and come up with some paleo recipes for the holidays. I am a vegetarian, so I didn’t actually eat any of these. That might explain why I am still alive.
Paleo Recipes (Don’t try this at home):
Note: if you are vegetarian, you can substitute soy bacon and veggie crumbles for the hamburger. You can use Earth Balance instead of mastadon lard.
Paleo chocolate chunk cookies
1 lb hamburger (grass fed)
2 cups chopped hazelnuts
1 package paleo chocolate chips (check for rocks)
1 tsp stone-ground baking soda
Heat oven or campfire to 375 degrees. Stir ingredients together and form into patties. Flip once. When no longer pink inside, they should be safe to eat. But I wouldn’t recommend it.
Paleo Bacon Birthday cake
This treat you can enjoy on your birthday. Though I wouldn’t recommend it.
-1 lb bacon
-1 cup paleo stone-ground dark chocolate (check for rocks)
-3 cups freshly picked hazelnuts
grass-fed hamburger for garnish (optional)
1 tsp paleo baking powder (check for rocks)
1/4 cup paleo honey (check for bees)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Fry bacon until crisp. Pulverize in food processor. Pulverize hazelnuts. Mix with stone- ground chocolate and other ingredients. Add enough water until it looks like cake batter. Pour into greased 8 x 8 inch pan. Bake.
Meanwhile, brown hamburger in pan. When cake is done, remove it and sprinkle with browned hamburger if desired. Happy Birthday! Eat at your own risk.
Paleo Snickerdoodles – you won’t be snickering if you eat these!
6 cups chopped hazelnuts
2 cups hamburger (grass fed)
2 strips bacon, fried
1 tsp stone-ground baking powder (check for rocks)
1 cup raw honey (check for bees)
1lb mastadon lard
Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Put everything in a food processor and blend. Form into small patties. Bake on greased cookie sheet until hamburger is no longer pink. Yum! Eat at your own risk.
Tags: food, humor, paleo, recipe
